dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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