youre lurking in front of me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
