He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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