This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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