Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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