it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
