Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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