i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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