lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
