Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts