Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?