After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
