She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
