When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
