I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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