Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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