Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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