What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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