somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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