Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome