I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants