how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon