I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
