I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
