Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
