that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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