You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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