I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
