how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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