This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
