Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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