I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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