I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
