I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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