I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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