That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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