just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
