My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize