My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles