If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy