Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule

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  (906): Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule http://tfl.nu/j8zx
  Replies (1) Good night (1212) Bad night (501)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified

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  (513): Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified http://tfl.nu/jq99
  Replies (20) Good night (781) Bad night (2801)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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  (918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz
  Replies (15) Good night (609) Bad night (5087)
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  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5292) Bad night (933)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing

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  (917): I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing http://tfl.nu/4nw4
  Replies (29) Good night (3304) Bad night (4508)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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  (954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79
  Replies (5) Good night (1444) Bad night (717)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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  (570): They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier. http://tfl.nu/s3gh
  Replies (17) Good night (2119) Bad night (661)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.

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  (219): Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though. http://tfl.nu/18ka
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (674)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.

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  (252): At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys. http://tfl.nu/070i
  Replies (6) Good night (1253) Bad night (593)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!

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  (330): He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me! http://tfl.nu/soou
  Replies (7) Good night (333) Bad night (943)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

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  (601): You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass. http://tfl.nu/96n6
  Replies (7) Good night (2276) Bad night (418)
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  (925): View more from California

  You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!

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  (925): You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here! http://tfl.nu/pvgq
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (316)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives 

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  (614): His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives  http://tfl.nu/o3zv
  Replies (5) Good night (238) Bad night (829)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago

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  (443): If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago http://tfl.nu/tavn
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (323)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.

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  (423): She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties. http://tfl.nu/apy4
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (273)

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