Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.