Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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  (856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon
  Replies (12) Good night (3794) Bad night (644)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...

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  (804): he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ... http://tfl.nu/7lew
  Replies (30) Good night (4093) Bad night (991)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

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  (508): right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy." http://tfl.nu/262w
  Replies (21) Good night (6739) Bad night (1652)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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  (915): everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself. http://tfl.nu/tl80
  Replies (8) Good night (2158) Bad night (1151)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday

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  (320): Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday http://tfl.nu/a582
  Replies (2) Good night (2705) Bad night (850)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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  (248): I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is http://tfl.nu/r4l9
  Replies (9) Good night (4433) Bad night (904)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.

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  (407): I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye. http://tfl.nu/cusq
  Replies (2) Good night (2186) Bad night (724)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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  (304): yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot http://tfl.nu/grz5
  Replies (2) Good night (1342) Bad night (677)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians

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  (303): If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians http://tfl.nu/7zy4
  Replies (8) Good night (1357) Bad night (577)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.

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  (907): Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7bx7
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (554)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.

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  (419): So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall. http://tfl.nu/czve
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (471)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.

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  (234): Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night. http://tfl.nu/5j4g
  Replies (3) Good night (1296) Bad night (504)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?

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  (780): Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat? http://tfl.nu/yo7z
  Replies (10) Good night (939) Bad night (522)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

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  (574): I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here... (614): Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine http://tfl.nu/936x
  Replies (1) Good night (978) Bad night (416)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?

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  (703): If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction? http://tfl.nu/5zwf
  Replies (3) Good night (260) Bad night (153)

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