Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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