this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?