ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
