Already got asked if we're dating
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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