I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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