you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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