It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize