at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
