So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
