But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
