He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
