if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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