uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
