My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my poor anus
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
