wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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