I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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