i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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