i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
where are you?
Hypothermia
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
