do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
