sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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