i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
