i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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