Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
