They have a pepper shaker for pot.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
