Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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