He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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