Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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