Midget sex pt 2 tonight
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
